the current book i'm readingmartin torgoff'scan't find my way home:american in the great stoned age1945-2000presented me an idea i have longthought about, wished for and hopedwould someday return to me:""as compelled as we were over the years to try to recapture the sweet, giddy rush of that first year of highs, it would turn out to be as irretrievable as one's own virginity"completely profound and truethe first time is always a rushthe first few years are always a rushand somewhere you turn jaded and wiltnothing will ever compare to thatfirst cigarette with shannanothing will ever compare to thatfirst time toking ...