It is Mothers' Day today. And it is tragic. It is confusing. It is melancholic and anxious. There is some relief mixed up in there, a little hope, and a lot of wishing.One year ago today, I announced that I had cervical cancer.All these emotions are here somewhere, but I am not truly feeling them. I am taking muscle relaxants and listening to CocoRosie and wondering why I cannot turn any of these anniversaries over to see what they mean. It is as though they have no underbellies.What does it mean to be told you have cancer? ...
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It’s late, post nightclubbing. Liam and I are walking the traffic-free roadway that passes by Kensington Palace and the fog is thick.
We’re talking 1960s Disney movie fake thick. Silent Hill thick. We literally cannot see 6 feet in front of us. We’re creeped out. We’ve seen fog before but not English fog. It’s suffocating.
Liam and I have a slight larger buzz going on and we’re singing to keep our spirits up. But of course, I have to be a bastard to Liam and I hush him with a hand on his shoulder. I look to the south ... Flag post
I'm not sure what it is. I am either okay with the present state of things in my life, or I am on the verge of collapse. It could be one or the other.It could be neither and instead be nestled somewhere in that infinite array of greys between extremes. I'm not good with the shades of grey, though. I seem to prefer throwing myself out onto one ledge or the other.I suppose that I could just stop thinking about which it is and go on with getting myself cups of coffee and meeting work deadlines and knitting ... Flag post Flag post Flag post
I stumbled across a BBC interview with Olympic Swimmer Mark Foster the other night and immediately started crushing on him. I'm a sucker for an accent. ... Flag post
It’s Sunday morning. I’ve brought croissants over to Nigel’s so we can read the papers.
Nigel is 12 years older than I. He’s been in a relationship with Peter for close to 8 years. Every Sunday Peter heads into the office and then the club, leaving Nigel alone to get into trouble. I’m “the trouble”.
I met Nigel while standing at the bar The Clone Zone, just steps away from Earls Court Tube station. He was blond, royalty handsome and drunk. He also had one ear sticking 90 degrees out from his head. It was endearing. I’ve written briefly about ... Flag post
Da back in the hospital again. This time for a couple weeks to get the swelling down on his pancreas. By Monday they might be able to add a stent to the inside of the blocked tube that goes from organ to intestine. Until then, he’s on clear liquids and a feeding tube. So I took some pictures! ... Flag post Flag post Flag post Flag post Flag post Flag post
