I got her a pretty plant. I show it to some horses on the farm.Of course, there are furry friends all along the way to pet.This path leads all the way from my house to Mom.Here the trail ends. I just have to hang a left and I am there!We are all going to eat at a seafood restaurant at 5pm. It should be some good eating. The weather is quite beautiful here. Don't forget to call your mother and wish her a "Happy Mother's Day!" ...
It simply amazes me how much I have expanded my bubble world in the last few years. In many ways, I am still attached to an imaginary umbilical chord. Before all the Emperor postering you see nowadays, you would be shocked to learn that I once wrote a sappy poem on my blog. Was this a cry for help to cut the umbilical chord?I have never lived more than 30 minutes away from my childhood home. My entire family lives on a big farm in houses spaced just enough apart. Since I am the black sheep, they put ...
Being Emperor is a thankless job. Rivals relentlessly try to usurp your power. Though you have dominion over them, they can't wait to knock your royal ass off the throne. The utter contempt some of you bitches have for my rule is like... so annoying!One of the perks to being Emperor is the ability to pick on the little guys. What a better way to demonstrate your might than to totally obliterate the mambiest of the pambiest?! I do have to admit that it is a guilty pleasure of mine.Last night, escorted by Imperial Stormtroopers, my shuttle arrived ...
Well, I say this little blog war is going swimmingly well. Always crush uprisings and negative news reports with an iron fist. In this case, threatening to post FAT pictures effectively ended the chatter of my fledgling tennis game. That eliminated four rebel bloggers right there on the spot. They were "sleeper cells" waiting to be activated. Yes, I am a cunty bastard for my war tactics. It's part of my charm :)The precursor to the rebellion was the sudden dip in my tennis game, which was widely reported on three blogs. It started with losing a doubles match ...
Everything is fair in love and war. Often times, one must capture the enemy and set him as an example for all others who may wish to join the rebellion. War is hell. And some of you look like it too!For anyone with CRAZY notions to join this silly little rebellion, just know that I probably have FAT pictures of you. YES! And don't think for one moment I will not post them. The end justifies the means. Bwahaha! ...
On January 1, 2008, my ascendancy to the throne to rule the Blog Universe was complete. It was on this exact day that I was crowned with Blog of the Year. My control and power in the blog world was forever cemented under this democratic coronation. I am now High Ruler.But you would be surprised that there are those out there who oppose my rule. I'll call them the rebel alliance. At first, I was mildly irritated when I got a report from a spy satellite that there was a rebel outpost here. It was amusing. I scoffed ...
These are dark days indeed for my widescreen Philips HDTV. He is now like an abandoned lover that hardly gets the scant gaze of my bedroom eyes. Philips has to settle for entertaining the Shrew with Everyone Loves Raymond twice every afternoon on cable. If he's lucky, Philips shows the Shrew the same movie he's just seen last week.My interests lie elsewhere. What is more exciting than seeing LSU beat Auburn with one measly second left to win the SEC's most heart stopping rivalry? Take that Aubies! Or see fat Fulmer's Tennessee team lose to Florida... AGAIN! Doink.Without SEC ...
Rapper's DelightI said a hip hop the hippie the hippieto the hip hip hop, a you dont stoprock it out baby bubbah to the boogie da bang bangthe boogie to the boogie da beat Come on you bandwagoners. You surely see that the winds of change are blowing hard for Hillary Clinton. She has the momentum now that the youngsters have moved on beyond the fad of "voting". I expect to see some squirming and back pedaling in the various blog circles. Come on kiddies... start tap dancing around your bold predictions that Hillary's campaign was dead in the ...