There may be future hiccups, where I revert back to bad past behavior, but this is a better version of me I'd like to become:1. Non-judgemental: I recognize that I am an oddity... not the norm. I will no longer look at others who are different with so much disdain. If those alcoholic wretches like having squishy arms and flabby asses, then bravo to them for not having any standards or giving a damn.2. Be a Good Sport: Here again... respect others lack of competitive spirit. Do not blow a gasket when someone says -- "I do not like ...

Is it okay for others to not be like you? If their standards and values are not the same, should you shake your head and silently disapprove? Or should you do like me... rip them a new asshole?I've been on quite a roll. Call me a "Judging Judy". I don't give a damn. My mood has already been captured and put on display here. Do I feel guilty about it? Hell no. Everybody else has been thinking the same thing. I am the only one with enough balls to jump their ass.My next target may be a certain ...

I am nervously excited about the Saints vs. Cardinals playoff game tomorrow. The New Orleans Saints (13-3) are on a three game losing skid. I am hoping much of that was due to coach Sean Payton simply resting his starters. We'll see.The Saints are seven point favorites to oust the Cardinals out of the playoffs.MY PREDICTION:New Orleans Saints 48Arizona Cardinals 34 ...

Who am I? What brought me here? These are questions I have been pondering.Lately, I have been analyzing my Pyrrhic victories. At what staggering cost did each win gain me? Were they worth it afterall?I've always had an affinity toward George W. Bush's "You're either with us or against us...". I personally adapted that to... "You're either with me or against me!"Say I have a grudge against someone. I'll be goddamn if YOU (my so called "friend") is gonna go make idle chit chat with that person. It's a question of loyalty. God help you if you become disloyal ...

During a routine Doctor visit, I was asked if I would like the H1N1 vaccine and shots for Hep A & B. Hummm... well... I am sexually active AND Heauxmeaux...I asked my Doctor the following questions:Will it hurt? (I hate needles!)Will I get sick afterwards?The Doctor laughed hysterically. I felt like a child for asking. He said, "I promise that you won't feel a thing. You won't feel bad afterwards." Mmmhmmm... and how much are you getting paid by Big Pharma to inject me?Against my better judgement, I decided to be a good Heauxmeaux and get the shots. With ...

OCD... you know me! The picture you see above is actually me. It was taken about two years ago when I was in the best shape of my life. With Mardi Gras only six weeks away, I am ramping up the OCD.My goal now is to maintain a flat stomach while going heavier on the weights. I want a bigger chest, arms, legs, ass, everything... I will now be focused on working out five times a week.I must be shirtless for Mardi Gras!And this has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with any panic of turning 40 in June. Nothing to ...

I want to wish everyone a Happy New Year's celebration. We've been through a lot, but the good news is that we are all making it to 2010. Yay!I will be celebrating in New Orleans at the infamous Bienville House. By last count, there will four couples, me, a real girl, and maybe another straggler or two. We'll practically be on top of each other crammed into the legendary whorehouse mansion. Good times!Lots of LOVE, HUGS and KISSES to y'all! :) ...

My dear blog readers... I have quietly tip toed back here before the affliction strikes again. You may have noticed the unusual jaded and bitchiness that has crept upon my blog. I swear it's not me! I think a sinister disposition swap spell has been cast by a well known blogger. It is so obvious. While he's being all horndog and cheery, I have an incurable case of jimboitis.HELP ME! Make him reverse the spell... before it's too late! Arrggghhh.... ...

What is this strange wet-like substance forming in my eyes? What the hell is that?! Isn't this what babies do?! FUCK!That stupid Susan Boyle rendition of "Wild Horses" got me confused in the head. It brainwashes you into thinking that love can be so strong that it can even supersede DEATH!I hung around three couples last night at the Bourbon Pub. If you saw how much they cherished each other, it would make you vomit too. Then there was my Ex... always in direct view cutting up and having a good 'ol time.Slipping in and out of my consciousness ...

Are you looking for an excellent stocking stuffer for Christmas? Buy a Pocket Meaux! They are friendly and adorable... your whole household will enjoy! The Brettcajun doll comes complete with leather restraints, a gag, and a bottle of poppers. Retailers have put heavy discounts on the Brettcajun doll after a spike in returns and customer complaints. ...

It won't be easy, you'll think it strangeWhen I try to explain how I feelthat I still need your love after all that I've done...Ladies and gentlemen... please forgive me. I have forsaken you. I once swore that I would never go Durbanbuddish on you, but I failed to keep my promise. I've been running around and trying everything new.So much has happened to your little Eva Peron. The international press has viciously sacked my reputation. Rotten tomatoes are routinely thrown the moment I step into the Bourbon Pub. I am even hounded by taunts of "Midget"?! Standing ...

Change often confuses the senses. What's up or down? Right or wrong? Real or unreal? While the mind races to find order amid the chaos, my inner Gemini is reveling in new adventure.I'll be honest... change is good. Instead of watching my life play out predictably, I am starring in a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants suspense thriller. Hell, even I don't know what's coming around the corner! I'll be honest... I like it.To clear the air from the chattering classes:1. I have not quit my job.2. I am still very much single.3. I have not moved to New Orleans full time yet, ...

While Eva Gabor moved from New York City to a country farm in "Green Acres", I have chosen quite the opposite path. My reasons are varied. As a single Meaux (Cajun for "Mo"), I have found the country setting akin to living in purgatory.Being the only one gifted with the fabulous Heauxmeaux gene can do damage on the psyche. (i.e., family gatherings) In a breeder world, you are THE oddball. It is taboo for you to bring up anything about your personal life. If you dare stray from the script, prickly quills rise up and nervous stares rain down.Simply ...

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There is a wonderous world out all around us. For the Brave, swashbuckling adventure await. For the meek... relegation to the same old lot in life. The questions we face: Do we continue on the same linear trajectory? Or do we leave the comfort of our shores and sail out to the great wide unknown?The Siren call beckons me. I can no longer ignore it. I must seek it out... no matter how far or how difficult the journey may be. You see, there has been something missing in my life for quite some time. I am vowing to ...

Don't let the gorgeous fiery red color fool you, my new Cock is one mean bastard! My neighbor gave me his Cock because he had the misfortune of having two. With only 10 chickens, his Roosters were constantly fighting for Cock supremacy.My chicken pen had been very peaceful with 11 hens. Now, they are constantly pecked by the new Rooster. I feel bad for them when I see them running around the chicken pen avoiding this beast.Last night, I had to pop the Rooster on the head three times for being a bully. My hens are only half his ...

Congratulations to Kelly Stern and his partner Jeff for pulling out all stops to win the Jiggy Whoreoff III contest. Right out the gate, Kelly & Jeff's video hogged most of the votes and held on during the entire 24 hours of voting. Way to go guys!I would like to thank the other participants who joined in making this event special: Jim, Sean, Robert, and CB (who finished a strong second place). We sure bared our souls, let our personalities shine, and brought smiles to the masses. Isn't that what counts the most?Special thanks also to everyone who ...

Please watch all the videos, then vote for a winner at the bottom of this blogpost. The poll closes at 5pm tomorrow!Jim's Entry:Idle Eyes and a Dormy Entry:Kelly Stern Entry:Brettcajun's Entry:Blobby's Blog Entry:The Mangina Monologues Entry: ...

Are you MOFOs working on your Jiggy Dance? The contest will be run tomorrow night! Here is a short excerpt of me practicing working with a wig, lip synching, and my cool dance moves: ...

Are you willing to make the blogworld exciting again? Join me in dusting off the dreary and let's get back to shaking happiness back into the world! I say it is time for another Jiggy Dance Whoreoff competition. Do you think you got the moves? Who is with me?Do a video and post it on YouTube where it can be embedded on this blog. Send me the link by Sunday, and you can participate in the contest too! ...