I just remembered what someone said in a meeting today - GAY is an acronym for God Adores You ♥ Thanks for that pearl of wisdom, James. Happy 25th Anniversary! ...

Today was a challenging day for me.  I anticipated something like this happening, but I was faced with the reality that my last day on the payroll ended last month.  I finally received my severance papers from Mark on Friday and had to make a quick trip today to a notary public before overnighting back the information to my former employer.  After speaking with my human resources representative, I should see the money owed to me on the 31st.  However this is going to delay this month's bills.  So I have been making calls to creditors trying to work ...

So I had hoped this weekend would bring fun story posts as well as pictures. It was Monster Mania here in Jersey, but alas there was no Monster Mania for me. The friends I made there who I usually hang out with decided to pass on this one, but hope to make it for the August one. The guest list was amazing, but honestly no one I was dying to meet. Okay maybe one or two. However without people to hang out with, I decided it wasn’t really that worth it. Plus I have this conference paper I am supposed ...

Liza with a Z... "I believe all drunks go to heaven, because they've been through hell on Earth” “Maybe what a gay icon is, is a person who is rooted for – in other words, cheered on – by people who feel different.” "I feel like I haven't done my best work yet. I feel like there's a world of possibilities out there." ...

Want to really know what is ON MY MIND? Ask me anything: http://formspring.me/with1look See the labels below for topics.  :-) ...

Drugs are bad news... Corey Haim Found Dead of an apparent overdose actor Corey Haim died this morning, according to LAPD. Local TV stations in Los Angeles it appears Haim may have died of a drug overdose. He was 38. Police tell us they were called to St. Joseph's hospital in Burbank, CA shortly before 4AM PT to investigate. Most notably, Corey Haim worked a number of times with Corey Feldman, the pair being dubbed “The Two Coreys.” The Corey pals, Corey Haim and Feldman starred in a TV ‘reality’ show titled The Two Coreys, that was on TV from 2007 to ...

Thanks to a friendly neighborhood trojan virus I had recently reinstalled the XP OS on my secondary PC. For some reason XP didn't want to install at first. Hell if I know why. I didn't do anything other than keep trying and suddenly it decided, okay, if you want me that bad you can have me.Apparently this particular computer shipped from the manufacturer with Window XP Pro, but the reinstall operating system disc that shipped with it was Windows XP Media Center. I never noticed until it came time to redo everything (roughly 3.5 years later). So even though I ...

A poem and a music video that have inspired me today and ironically they both have to do with trains.  I used to have such negative feelings when it came to trains - mostly reminding of things from my childhood.  However,  I have decided to change that perception today. "The Train of Life" ~ by Marv Hardin Some folks ride the train of life looking out the rear, Watching miles of life roll by and marking every year. They sit in sad remembrance of wasted days gone by, And curse their life for what it was and hang their head and ...

It's coming down to the last month of being in Florida.  My recovery is going extremely well and I will be moving in with Mark's sister on Sunday for a few weeks until Mark flies down on the 24th (my birthday ironically).  These last five months have really opened my eyes to a whole new perspective.  What has amazed me is how people will go to any means to get what they want.  The patients are real toxic to my recovery at this point and frankly I feel that they are taking advantage of my situation.  Once I am ...

Yeah I know, it’s been awhile since I posted. Sorry about that! Like I said in my last post, I’ve been extremely busy right now. Plus with this last snow storm, I ended up with a cold. It had been awhile since I had one, I guess I was overdue. So that knocked me out for a week. I won’t lie, I enjoyed a few days on the couch doing nothing, but I now I have to catch up with some things. I officially am over snow, at least for this year I still love snow, but we’ve seen enough. It ...

Could not believe that I managed to get a tan today... ...

Since getting a vista computer i've had tons of little annoyances. One of which is while watching a video on Hulu vista totally ignores that and sends the monitor into standby after the user specified idle time duration. So for me the monitor goes blank after 20 minutes of sitting and watching the Hulu vidoe even though my computer isn't really idle. Your sleep settings may give you more or less time before the screen goes blank. Regardless, it's very annoying. To workaround this problem run media player in the background. Run the music muted on a continual loop. This ...

since getting a pc with vista (arg!) when i use my tv (secondary monitor) to view netflix watch online movie it exits full screen mode all on its own every 15 minutes or so. i'm lying on the bed nowhere near the pc. no input from me whatsoever. but like clockwork every 12-15 minutes the full screen mode reverts back to a regular window. i tried turning off the google toolbar. that didn't work. i tried having igoogle refreshing every so often in a secondary tab. no good. i tried turning off norton live update. no dice. i still don't ...

I have a second pc that still runs XP, but vista. Recently it decided to stop going into standby after the specified idle time had elapsed. I tried using msconfig from the run menu. Started shutting off a bunch of useless extras. Including, nvidia extra crap (like nziz), creative sound blaster extra crap (like cthelper and ctfix - i think that's its name) and even windows indexing. None of those things helped at all. Checked the power management settings for the lan card. In device manager. Right-click the card. Check the power management tab. Make sure it's set to not ...

It was a sad few days learning about actor Andrew Koenig who played Boner on the 80's sitcom Growing Pains. He went missing on Valentine's day and his body was found yesterday in Stanley Park in Vancouver. All reports are that he committed suicide as a result from his battle with depression.Today, I had to stop and give thanks to God for helping me get through my own struggles of depression. It has been such a blessing getting to understand the madness I have been living with for so long. Despite some of the problems that may occur or ...

So far it has not been a great day for me. From what I hear about the weather in New Jersey, I am missing a huge snow storm. You would think being in sunny Florida would be a helpful inspiration, but I am struggling. A lot has been happening back at home and I feel like I am missing out on being there for people - in good times and in bad.I just heard of another friend's father passing this month and once again, I can not be there physically for support. Oh sure, I am there "in spirit" ...

"Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, or situation - some fact of my life - unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God's world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober ; unless I accept life on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so ...

Today is a beautiful day here in Wilton Manors, Florida. The weather has finally decided to grant us some sun, so I plan to take full advantage of it. I need to get some color because I am soooo white skinned. I attribute it to the German blood that flows through my veins. Plus I have lost more weight, so I am taking a risk, and daring to wear a wife beater today. I wonder why they call them that. I had to look that up on Wikipedia and see if there was an origin to that, but ...

Says a lot... ...

After a 7 month hiatus from my blog, I have decided to start writing again. I have been concentrating the last months on my health and recovery in Florida and I have to say that I have been feeling fabulous. It has not been easy for me and it is long and complicated to get into, but nonetheless, I am now starting over. Some changes - obviously I am now a blonde.I found out that my company went through some big reorganizational changes and my position was eliminated this month, so I have some time to think about what ...