This should be subtitled, "Why Brian Shouldn't Not Have a Cell Phone Near After Having Beers." I apologize for the volume. Part One You might think I'd just stop, but oh no... there's more. Part Two I've been listening to the podcast, How Much Do We Love a lot this week. Clearly, it's in my subconscious. When did I start laughing like Mumbly? Part Three I apologize to all women for this one. Clearly alcohol was a factor. Anyway... ...

We were naive to believe it was possible to pop corn with a cell phone array. And now here the truth is revealed. In attempting to suggest cellphones are risky, they removed a magnetron from a microwave and fastened it under the table, thereby making the magnetron a raw, nearly naked magnetron beaming its magnetron rays upward through the table. Not only were the participants' organs sprayed with magnetronium, but their cellphones were too! Think of the havoc! ...