I think dating is easier for straight couples. For one thing, if your straight everyone wants to fix you up with someone they know. But gay guys are really at a disadvantage when it comes to language about dating. And language often affects how we see and interpret reality. Think about it. There is no gay equivalent of words like “fiancé” or “engaged” that imply a relationship has progressed to a certain level of seriousness (though still short of lifetime commitment). If you go back 20 years or so, gay men didn’t talk about “dating” at all. Partners ...

The Defense Dept. has rejected a policy proposed last month to recognize the same-sex partners of gay teachers because it conflicts with DOMA, the Stars and Stripes reports:  "Stars and Stripes reported last month that the Department of Defense Education Activity and two teachers unions had signed off on giving same-sex teaching couples the same consideration as married heterosexual teaching couples when requesting joint transfers to new schools. The policy, which also extended the benefit to unmarried but committed straight couples, was disapproved during a routine DOD labor agreement review, according to the statement...The transfer benefit would have ...

Straight couples can get all of the benefits and protections of marriage for the price of a $40 marriage license. But when you live in a state where you can’t get married, which is 90% of them, gay couples need to spend thousands of dollars to get similar protections. Via the Chicago Tribune: If Howard Wax and Robert Pooley Jr. were a heterosexual couple, they could’ve gone to their nearest Cook County clerk’s office, paid $40 for a marriage license and been wed. That would have provided them an array of legal protections — the right to make medical decisions ...

Same-sex couples are virtually identical to opposite-sex couples when it comes to age, income, and child rearing according to census data released in the United States this month. A study conducted at UCLA analyzed the data for nearly 150,000 gay couples to compare how they fare in comparison to their straight counterparts—taking into account gay couples who were legally married as well as those that still referred to each other as being married even if equal marriage rights were not legal in their state. The results show that gay married couples are 52 years old on average, earn a combined household ...

“any two will do" To get a sense of just how nasty Maine's "yes on 1" campaign is and has been since the beginning, just turn to the above four words. On several occasions now, the campaign has used that lil' slogan to describe how they see the state's marital future should Question One fail (i.e. if the marriage law takes effect the way it would've and should've had these self-appointed moral authoritarians not forced the state into this costly and divisive battle). Think about it for a second. The image they want to carve out in people's minds is that a ...

Last week, I said that people who hold anti-gay views were a small and shrinking minority. Behind their loud and obnoxious rally cries, there just isn’t any real support. I’ve cited polls before, but most were conducted around the time of the same-sex marriage debate. I didn’t cite anything in my last post to back up my claim that Stephen Harper’s new speech writer (who believes that same-sex couples shouldn’t even be able to share each others benefits let alone get married) is part of a fringe group, so let’s see if we can put this to rest once and for ...

This is a painful and beautiful movie about what happens when a married straight couple doesn't have time to communicate anymore. The non-communication leads to a downwards spiral that is hard to break. I like the movie. But I do have problems with the references to the highly problematic "Men are from Mars, women from Venus" theory - by which some straight couples try to explain all their disagreements. To place such an emphasis on the difference between the sexes seem strange from my point of view - as a married gay man. I think the human experience cannot easily ...

In an initial hearing on the lawsuit challenging Prop 8 in federal court, attorney Charles Cooper was at a loss when Judge Vaughn Walker asked for real information. Cooper had asked Walker to throw out the suit or make it more difficult for those civil rights claims to prevail. The judge not only refused but signaled that when the case goes to trial in January, he expects Cooper and his legal team to present evidence showing that male-female marriages would be undermined if same-sex marriages were legal. The question is relevant to the assertion by gay marriage opponents that Proposition ...

Gay men aren’t the only folks who have complicated relationships with parents and in-laws, of course.  But while straight couples typically get a lot of recognition, support and encouragement from their parents and other family members, things are often different for us.  Some families are very welcoming.  Other families are indifferent or hostile, and that can complicate loving relationships between men.  Enlightened parents welcome a son or daughter’s partner into the family.  Even if this feels like uncharted territory to Mom and Dad, they grasp that the new love in their son’s life is the important thing, not the ...