"Death doesn't really worry me that much, I'm not frightened about it... I just don't want to be there when it happens." (Woody Allen)"Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so." (Douglas Adams)"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock." (Will Rogers) ...

"Death doesn't really worry me that much, I'm not frightened about it... I just don't want to be there when it happens." (Woody Allen)"Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so." (Douglas Adams)"It is only an auctioneer who can equally and impartially admire all schools of art." (Oscar Wilde) ...

Jose here.There's a rumor circling the web and European media stating that Penélope Cruz has been cast in Lars von Trier's new film Melancholia.If this is true then the Oscar winning actress will be battling some heavy personal issues while Lars destroys our planet.The film will center on the impending collision of Earth with planet Melancholia (the man doesn't even try to conceal how much he loves Tarkovsky does he?).When the movie was announced last October, the only thing Lars told people to expect were "no more happy endings".Lars isn't really a filmmaker who cares what others think ...

"I am desperately trying to figure out why Kamikaze pilots wore helmets." (Dave Edison)"I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants." (A. Whitney Brown)"What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?" (Woody Allen) ...

"You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred." (Woody Allen)"It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it." (Attributed to American humourist Sam Levenson.)"It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious." (Oscar Wilde) ...

"Illusion is the first of all pleasures." (Oscar Wilde)"An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today." (Laurence J. Peter)"Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?" (Woody Allen) ...

"People who get nostalgic about childhood were obviously never children." (Bill Watterson)"When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room." (Woody Allen)"Funeral (noun): A pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and strengthen our grief by an expenditure that deepens our groans and doubles our tears." (Devil's Dictionary, Ambroce Bierce) ...

"What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet." (Woody Allen)"Friendship (noun): A ship big enough to carry two in fair weather, but only one in foul." (Devil's Dictionary, Ambroce Pierce)"If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you." (Oscar Wilde) ...

"The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.""To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition." (Woody Allen)"I was working on the proof of one of my poems all the morning, and took out a comma. In the afternoon I put it back again." (Oscar Wilde) ...

"Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage." (Woody Allen)"I think that God in creating Man somewhat overestimated his ability." (Oscar Wilde)"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us." (Bill Watterson) ...

"Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do." (Dale Carnegie)"There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?" (Woody Allen)"I suppose that I shall have to die beyond my means." (Oscar Wilde) ...

"Visualizing? I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth." "The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5'7", it is impossible to get your congressman on the phone." (Woody Allen)"If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates." (Jay Leno) ...

La vida tiene la costumbre de pasar ante tus ojos sin avisar. Hoy mi hermana me ha llevado a un concierto de Brad Mehldau. Llegamos justos de tiempo, y mientras apresurados nos buscamos a la salida del baño, me parece ver a una antigua compañera del colegio. Subimos a nuestras localidades en el segundo piso, se hace el silencio y Brad comienza a tocar. Cierro los ojos, y mi mente comienza a vagar por recuerdos de amores y lugares perdidos. Escuché a Mehldau en directo por primera vez en el Yoshi's, en Oakland. Recuerdo a la chica que me llevó ...

"You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers." "I have plenty of talent and vision, I just don’t give a darn.""Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness." (Woody Allen) ...

This video just makes me wish Woody Allen would start directing YouTube cat videos. Actually, now that I think about it, it makes me wish every director would start doing cat videos. This is all I have the attention span for anymore anyway. Thanks to Linwood for the tip. ...

"I choose my friends for their good looks, my acquaintances for their good characters, and my enemies for their good intellects. A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies." (Oscar Wilde)"As a general rule, I am more prone to listen to those who are as outraged by the indecency of homelessness as they are by the indecency of music videos." (Barack Obama)"Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies." (Woody Allen) ...

"Bore (noun): A person who talks when you wish him to listen." (Ambrose Bierce (Devil's Dictionary))"On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down." (Woody Allen)"I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid." ...

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand." - Woody Allen ...

"Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends." (Woody Allen)"It sounds like English, but I can’t understand a word you’re saying.""I can resist anything but temptation." (Oscar Wilde) ...

"Admiration (noun): Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves." (Ambrose Bierce (Devil's Dictionary))"I have yet to see any problem, however complicated, which, when you looked at it in the right way, did not become still more complicated." (Poul Anderson)"My one regret in life is that I am not someone else." (Woody Allen) ...